"I'll never..."

The other day I came down stairs and caught Cade drinking a grape juice box on the couch. After sending him to the kitchen table with it he informed me when he has his own house he WILL NEVER make people only eat at the table. He will always eat on the couch and he will let everyone else eat wherever they want to. It made me laugh when I remembered all my own "I'll never's."


High school nevers:

• I will never go to BYU.
• I will never ever get married. If by some obscure chance I do get married it will be to a rich successful doctor.
• I will never need to know how to do anything practical like sew, cook, change a tire, etc. because I will be rich and will have people to do those things for me.
• I will never have to learn to drive a stick shift.
• I will never own a mini van.

Ha ha. Then reality comes around to bite me. So I went to BYU. And I got married. And at the time he was not a loaded successful doctor (still waiting for the loaded part to happen. Technically speaking Chris does have his doctorate degree but only makes his mom call him Dr.) Now wishing I knew how to do more practical things. Lucky for me (especially lately since I have had 4 flats in the last month) I have AAA so I still don't have to know how to change a tire. I still can't drive a stick, which is kind of embarrassing now. But still no mini van, much to my relief!

So after I realized I had done most of my nevers I had to re-evaluate and I came up with a new set of I'll nevers.

• I will never have "those children" who misbehave and throw fits in public places/stores.
• I will never take my children to school in my pj's.
• I will never clean up other peoples puke.
• I will never let my children go out in public looking like ragamuffins. - They will always be perfectly dressed in designer coordinating clothes (cause I married a rich guy and we can afford it), hair perfectly combed at all times.
• I will never let my children watch mindless hours of TV - I will engage them in educational activities at all times to stimulate their young minds.

Well, I ate my words on everyone of those nevers. My children all too frequently are "those children." They have been know to knock over displays while playing tag or chasing each other through a store. They have thrown the biggest tantrums of their lives in the checkout lanes of Target and Walmart over junky toys and candy. And we have been known on more than one occasion to have to leave a store before I get arrested for committing child abuse.

I take my kids to school almost every day in my jammies, granted I don't walk them in, that would be crossing the line, but I do drop them off. I also go to the store late at night in my jammies or over to a friends house in my jammies. What can I say, comfort has beat out fashion.

Unfortunatly I've had to clean up puke, mostly my childrens. And I gag the entire time. Chris is the designated puke cleaner upper at our house but sometimes I have to fulfill my parental duty too. The best was when Cami was sleeping with me and threw up in my hair in the middle of the night. Nothing like waking up to chunks in your hair.

I can't think of a single day this summer except maybe for part of the day on Sunday when they have to dress nicely that my boys haven't looked a little ragamuffinish. Their daily wardrobe this summer has consisted of basketball shorts (in every hideous color) with ugly tee-shirts that of course totally clash with each other. They have also perfected the art of combing their own hair which involves about half the bottle of hair gel smeared in just the front section of hair until it is nice and crunchy. Cami on the other hand is usually dressed decently with the exception of shoes. She is really into shoes, especially ones that don't match what she is wearing at the time. Her only downfall would be her accessories. Most of them have been acquired from happy meals. And she has been know to sport a very unstylish brightly colored headband pretty much everyday recently that she wears right on her hairline.

As for mindless hours of TV... well, I think I have failed miserably on that one as well, at least this summer. Carter has been addicted to video games this summer with Cade not too far behind him. Most mornings Carter gets up and heads straight to the Game Cube. It's like his little morning fix or something. He's just not a happy kid until he's gotten a little gaming in. But who can blame them, would you want to go run around outside when it's 115 out?

So you see, all my I'll nevers have come full circle. So I just have to sit and laugh when my kids tell me all the things they will NEVER do when they grow up. I can only wish they have children just like themselves!